Cowboy Samurai X Badass Android Read online

  Chapter 6: Great power, great responsibility

 

  Jake had his arms wrapped tightly around Ultraviolet as she rode her motorcycle in the direction of the SSF Headquarters, which happened to be none other than Dr. Valery’s mansion. Mr. Suit followed close behind on Pinstripe although he could have passed the fool and the Sex Droid if he had really wanted to.

  At the speed they were going they managed to reach the Samurai Superheroes Headquarters in only thirty minutes. Jake couldn’t help but be impressed that Mr. Suit had actually managed to keep up with them while riding a horse! But he’d never tell Mr. Suit he was impressed to his face. Jake could just tell that the guy was a pompous jerk. Dr. Valery was waiting for them at the front door of the mansion when they arrived. She was once again dressed in a custom-made, sexy doctor’s coat. “Jake!” Dr. Valery cried with tears in her blue eyes as soon as she spotted him. “My beloved nephew!” She then launched herself at Jake for a hug and probably a grope.

  Jake somehow managed to dodge out of the way as he dismounted from Ultraviolet’s motorcycle. “Ack! Perverted aunt - don’t touch me and…you’re not really my aunt are you?!” Jake accused while pointing a finger at her.

  Dr. Valery stopped trying to pounce on Jake as her expression turned serious. “How did you find out?”

  Jake could tell that the cougar looked put out. “A kappa alien told me…so is it true? You’re not only the CEO of the NeoTech Corporation but also the commander of the SSF…and the real reason I’m here is because you want me to join the SSF because I have these unusual nanomachines inside of me…?” Jake held his breath as he nervously waited for her response. He’d never admit it but it had been kinda nice having family still around even if his so-called aunt had been nothing but a pervert.

  Dr. Valery sighed and rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry Jake but…that is correct. Mr. Suit’s partner was recently murdered by one of Nova Inara’s Nemesis Zeros during a mission, leaving Mr. Suit without a partner. It’s too dangerous to carry out a SSF mission alone. All Samurai Superheroes carry out their missions in groups of two though Mr. Suit has made it quite clear that he’s okay with handling missions on his own, still…” Dr. Valery frowned and shook her head. “I just can’t allow that. He’s the best we have - our very best living-metal swordsman. I want him to have backup. Personally, I can’t risk losing him. I don’t think he can handle a mission alone no matter how invincible he thinks he is.”

  A dark scowl formed on Mr. Suit’s face. “Keh, you’re telling the loser too much, Dr. Valery. And you’re wrong. I can perfectly handle a mission on my own. I don’t need the help of a lazy coward.” Mr. Suit turned to glare at Jake.

  Jake merely glared back and frowned. “Who said I wanted to help you, Mr. Narcissistic Prince.” Ugh, this guy really gets on my nerves! He thinks he’s better than everyone else!

  Lightning flashed between their eyes as they glared at each other.

  Dr. Valery frowned at the behavior of the two young men. “But Jake…I thought that the reason why you’re here is because you’ve agreed to join the Samurai Superheroes Force?”

  Jake shook his head. “No - I’m here because I want to undergo training. Mr. Suit said he could train me to control the nanomachine powers I have…I merely want to be able to control my powers so that I can protect those I care about, and so I won’t cause anyone problems with my powers.”

  “Training?” Dr. Valery gave Jake a surprised look. “Well, it is true that with the proper training you will probably be able to control your nanomachine powers. That’s what makes you such an interesting guinea pig, Jake. People who have taken NANO for example slowly become addicted to the drug and the nanomachines slowly gain control over that person. The user slowly robotisizes, and becomes more and more machine, and less human. The more nanomachines inside a person’s body the less control they have over their body. But as for you…you’re special. Your blood is swimming with nanomachines and yet you retain your freewill. Your will is not becoming Nova Inara’s. You have full control over the nanomachines in your body…

  “Or at least this would be possible if you exerted your will upon the nanomachines and forced them to listen to you. The reason you can’t control your powers Jake is because you lack will and motivation and bravery. You also have no fighting experience…Mr. Suit can help you with both of these things but…this will come at a price Jake. Nothing is free in this world. Mr. Suit will train you but you have to help out with his missions in return, understand?”

  Jake’s frown deepened as he looked over at Mr. Suit. He knew that he needed Mr. Suit’s training if he was going to learn how to control his nanomachine powers, but he had very little interest in joining the SSF. “Alright fine. I’ll help the pompous jerk with his missions but he better train me properly. And I won’t live here…I already have somewhere to live.” There’s no way I’m going to live close to my perverted aunt. “Oh and I want a kick-ass warhorse too!”

  “Pompous jerk?” Mr. Suit growled and stalked towards Jake only to have Ultraviolet reach out from behind Mr. Suit and put him into an arm lock. Mr. Suit looked back at Ultraviolet in surprise. “You…?” Mr. Suit sagged in Ultraviolet’s grasp.

  Ultraviolet smirked.

  Dr. Valery pouted when Jake said he didn’t want to live at the mansion but then a grin formed on Dr. Valery’s face. “Deal. But if you want a kick-ass warhorse you have to wear the uniform that I make you.”

  “Uniform?” Jake shrugged carelessly. “Sure.” After all, how bad could it be? Mr. Suit’s smart-suit was actually pretty cool, although he’d never tell the egotistic bastard that. “Deal. Ah, and there’s one more thing. I was just wondering…” Jake scratched his head nervously. “If I could keep on calling you ‘aunt’ even though I know you’re not really my aunt…” Jake asked hesitantly.

  Dr. Valery gave Jake a surprised look before her expression turned touched. She smiled warmly at Jake. “Of course you can keep calling me ‘aunt’.” Dr. Valery then clapped her hands together, looking excited. “Then it’s settled. For now you’ll be considered an ‘honorary member’ of the force. That is until we can convince you to join up full time. And I still have a few tricks up my sleeve to get you to want to join, Jake Lonestar.” A cat’s paw smile curled Dr. Valery’s lips.

  A lopsided grin formed on Jake’s face as he looked back at Dr. Valery. He was glad that she had allowed him to keep on calling her his aunt. It just felt so lonely knowing that his only family on Earth could be anywhere in the galaxy by now.

  Dr. Valery then turned her attention to the Sex Droid. “Ultraviolet, good work in bringing Jake home. You may have lost your purpose as a Sex Droid but apparently you still have your uses as a Battle Maid. Henceforth, I assign you with being Jake’s personal bodyguard. A cowardly, lazy, unmotivated guy like him needs a bodyguard to keep him out of trouble. Think you can handle that?” Dr. Valery gave Ultraviolet an expectant look. Ultraviolet is one of the aces up my sleeves. I saw Jake’s interest in her. It won’t be long before Jake becomes an official member of the Samurai Superheroes Force.

  “Pffft.” Ultraviolet snorted as she put her hands on her hips and gave Jake a once-over. “You want me to be this loser’s bodyguard?” She took the cigarette from her lips and waved it in Jake’s direction. “Bite me.” A pissed and slightly unhappy expression had formed on Ultraviolet’s face.

  Jake had been giving Ultraviolet a hopeful look but his expression fell at her harsh words and he hung his head dejectedly. This sucks…of course she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with a loser like me.

  Mr. Suit couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his face at Jake’s plight. “I feel your pain, Ultraviolet.” Mr. Suit gave Ultraviolet a sympathetic look. “I can’t believe I’ve been assigned to be this idiot’s trainer.”

  Jake’s head snapped up and he glared at Mr. Suit. “Well, SORRY for being such an idiot.” Jake frowned.

  Mr. Suit gave Jake a surprised look.
“Heh, you’re not arguing the fact that you’re an idiot?”

  “I really hate you.” Jake shot back.

  Mr. Suit just smirked.

  Dr. Valery watched the two young men with amusement. “As fun as it is to watch you two boys verbally spar why don’t we head on over to the dojo so that Jake can meet the rest of the SSF.” Dr. Valery turned to Jake. “We have four other members in the SSF. They should be training right now so you’ll get the see what the SSF is capable of.”

  “Heh, I already showed him that.” Mr. Suit declared, looking smug.

  Jake decided to ignore Mr. Suit. “There are just four other members? This is a really small force…” Jake told his aunt.

  “One Samurai Superhero has the strength of an entire police squad.” Mr. Suit drawled as he pushed his high-tech sunglasses up his nose.

  Jake turned towards Mr. Suit. “I didn’t ask you, you wannabe James Bond!”

  Dr. Valery laughed loudly as she grabbed both young men by the backs of their shirt collars respectively and began to drag them off towards the dojo. Mr. Suit liked the dojo that Dr. Valery had constructed within the mansion immensely. A lot of research had gone into its creation to make it as authentic to a real Japanese dojo as possible. The result was that the dojo really looked like one that you would find somewhere in the woods below Mt. Fuji in Japan.

  The shomen ‘front’ of the dojo had the dojo’s name displayed above the doorway on a wooden plank in kanji letters. Inside of the dojo was a dojo kun or list of the dojo’s rules. There was also a kamidana - an area for Shinto Shrine artifacts, large Taiko drums off to the sides and decorative suits of ancient Japanese samurai armor sitting in the corners for decoration.

  The group entered the dojo and Jake noticed that the floor was highly polished wood. The walls were decorated with an impressive collection of living-metal weapons: katana (samurai swords), shuriken (throwing stars), sai, naginata, and tonfa. Jake could tell right away that these weapons were not ‘normal’ weapons at all but more of those out-of-this-world living-metal weapons like the one Mr. Suit wielded.

  As Ultraviolet, Mr. Suit and Dr. Valery also entered the dojo along with Jake, he noted that four people were training but his eyes were instantly drawn to the two ladies who were sparring against each other first. Jake was a pervert after all and his eyes instantly turned into two pink hearts.

  “Young ladies in skintight superhero outfits…any nerd’s wet dream come true.” Jake murmured to himself as he focused on the two female samurai.

  The first was wearing a blue and silver, space dress along with a pair of silver platform boots and matching gloves. Jake’s eyes traveled up the girl’s perfect figure, long milky white legs, thin waist, bodacious breasts and then finally to her face - a perfect oval-shaped face, with large dark blue eyes and long, straight platinum blonde hair. Jake’s eyes widened when he suddenly recognized the girl whose body he had been ogling. His jaw dropped. “It can’t be…Galaxy Girl? What’s she doing here?!”

  Dr. Valery gave Jake a surprised look. “Ah, so you’re familiar with Galaxy Girl?”

  Jake nodded dumbly. “Yea…my sister Bonnie was a big fan of Galaxy Girl and was always playing her CDs. I used to listen to Galaxy Girl sing from behind my sister’s bedroom door but…I thought Galaxy Girl was a famous American pop singer…not a superhero?” Jake asked, feeling confused.

  Dr. Valery nodded. “You’re right about her being a famous American pop star but she is definitely also a Samurai Superhero. She was chosen by a living-metal weapon and so had to become one of us. She didn’t become a member by choice really.” Galaxy Girl is my next ace up my sleeve. Jake won’t be able to resist being able to be close to Galaxy Girl.

  Jake was in awe. Galaxy Girl…is really standing in front of me right now. Someone that I thought was so far away...so untouchable. This is amazing. “You think I could get her autograph later?” Jake asked Dr. Valery in a sheepish manner.

  Dr. Valery grinned triumphantly. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

  Galaxy Girl was wielding a long, metal, pole-like weapon that had a large, curved blade on the end of it.

  “What kind of weapon is that?” Jake asked, having never seen anything like it before.

  “That is a naginata.” Dr. Valery informed him. “During the Feudal Era in Japan the naginata was a popular weapon for female samurai. The naginata is an ideal weapon for a woman because it enables her to keep her opponent at a distance. It has good defensive and offensive capabilities. Male samurai would normally be able to overpower a female samurai in close hand-to-hand combat which was why the naginata was perfect for allowing a female samurai to keep her opponent at a distance. The best weapons for women are usually long-ranged weapons. Black Fox - the young lady she’s currently sparring against is also using a long-ranged weapon.”

  Jake’s attention turned to Black Fox next:

  Whereas Galaxy Girl was an American blonde bombshell - Black Fox was a dark, mysterious Asian beauty. She was incredibly thin and tall but had nice curves. She had long, thick black hair and dark, narrow eyes. She was wearing a black fox mask on her face and a black leather, skintight bodysuit that had a zipper from the top of her neck all the way down to her naval. She had a pair of stiletto heels on her feet. She had this serene yet calculating expression on her face as she faced off against Galaxy Girl.

  Galaxy Girl was looking noticeably less serene. She had a small frown on her pouty pink lips and appeared to be frustrated with something. “I can’t believe I’m missing Cougar Town for this!”

  Jake, Dr. Valery and Mr. Suit all felt sweatdrops form on the sides of their heads at Galaxy Girl’s words. Apparently, Galaxy Girl was displeased because she was missing her new favorite sitcom.

  Black Fox was wielding an impressive looking katana. Jake noticed that the blade of Black Fox’s living-metal sword appeared to be solid black and he shuddered. That was one creepy weapon. The two young ladies faced off. Naginata vs. katana. “Ah!” Galaxy Girl let out a battle cry as she charged Black Fox and Black Fox raised her katana to block easily. Galaxy Girl continued her haphazard assault but Black Fox easily blocked all of Galaxy Girl’s attacks gracefully and with minimal effort.

  Galaxy Girl stumbled forward, tripping in her fashionable platform boots, and Black Fox whacked her on her butt with the flat of her sword as she stumbled by. Jake thought that had been HOT for some reason. Galaxy Girl frowned and decided to take things to the next level. She raised her naginata and it began to glow with a green-tinged light. “Nekomata, Evolution One!” Galaxy Girl cried and the blunt end of Galaxy Girl’s naginata began to morph until a second, deadly, curved blade emerged. Jake blinked, he had just seen a weapon transform as if it were alive.

  A small smile curled Black Fox’s lips. She raised her katana into the air and said in her deep, mature voice. “Tamamo-no-mae Evolution One!” Black Fox’s sword glowed with a green-tinged light before her katana began to transform. The sword became like liquid metal and extended until it reached the ground. For a moment the sword looked as though it had transformed into some kind of metal whip until it began to solidify. The whip turned into nine curved but connected blades. Her katana had transformed into a whip-sword. Jake shuddered again, it was like she now had nine swords in one.

  “Cool.” Jake murmured. But still really creepy.

  “Ahhhh!” Galaxy Girl yelled as she attacked Black Fox again in a frantic manner spinning her naginata at Black Fox. Black Fox stood calmly and used her whip-sword to block the deadly attacks. The way Galaxy Girl slashed her naginata down to then spin it down again using her second blade was like being able to dish out two attacks at once. But Black Fox had nine blades at her disposal and used them skillfully to block Galaxy Girl’s attacks.

  Galaxy Girl was still looking frustrated while Black Fox appeared amused. “You’ve improved somewhat, Galaxy Girl. But you’re still nowhere near my level. You need more training. You’re full of openings and your stance i
s unsteady as always.” Black Fox informed Galaxy Girl as she swung her whip-sword at Galaxy Girl.

  The whip-sword wrapped around Galaxy Girl’s naginata and Black Fox yanked back on her hilt so that Galaxy Girl’s naginata went zooming out of her hands. Galaxy Girl stumbled forward and Black Fox lashed her whip out at Galaxy Girl’s platform boots next.

  Galaxy Girl tripped and landed splat on her face with her butt in the air. Jake leered unabashedly at her fine ass thinking to himself: Sexy.

  Black Fox looked down at Galaxy Girl with that same creepy smile plastered to her face. “Maybe if you didn’t wear those ridiculous shoes you’d have better balance.” She suggested.

  Galaxy Girl glared up at Black Fox heatedly. “I love these boots. They’re Christian Louboutins. They cost me a thousand dollars. If I didn’t have to do something as stupid as this training I wouldn’t have to worry about damaging my Christian Louboutin boots!”

  Mr. Suit noticed the perverted leer on Jake’s face and gave him a disgusted look. “Pervert. Stop looking at Galaxy Girl like that. It’s inappropriate.”

  Jake ignored the comment. “Are Galaxy Girl and Black Fox partners? That would be hot.” Jake stated.

  Mr. Suit felt his eye twitch. “No, Galaxy Girl’s partner is-” Mr. Suit was saying before he was interrupted by a loud male voice.

  “Galaxy Girl! How could you let Black Fox trip you up so easily? You’re completely useless. Why do I have to have such a useless woman as my partner? Argh!”

  Jake turned to see who had dared to insult the beautiful, talented Galaxy Girl and noticed a man dressed in a black and red bodysuit that was similar in style to a spacesuit with a matching full facemask. There were two tiny red horns on the top of the man’s head attached to the facemask and a jet pack was attached to the man’s back.

  “Red Dragon.” Mr. Suit finished with a thoughtful frown on his face.

  “Red Dragon, huh?” Jake looked over the young man’s superhero outfit and wondered if his suit was a smart-suit like Mr. Suit’s. “He doesn’t look so tough…” Jake groused, feeling jealous that this man got to be by Galaxy Girl’s side 24-7. Jake’s eyes were drawn to the living-metal katana that was strapped to Red Dragon’s waist next.

  Galaxy Girl snapped her head up to glare at Red Dragon. She pushed herself up off the floor and began to dust herself off while inspecting her boots with a concerned expression on her face. “Shut up, Red Dragon. Who asked you for your opinion? My poor boots…I might have to go on a shopping spree today. Red Dragon. You’ll be accompanying me to carry my bags.” Galaxy Girl finished in an imperious manner.

  “Like hell I will, woman! You can carry your own damn bags!” Red Dragon spat.

  Mr. Suit took out a cigarette, lit it and took a long drag from it before speaking. “That is no way to address a lady, Red Dragon.”

  Jake nodded vigorously in agreement. “Do you have any idea who she is?! She’s Galaxy Girl! She needs to be treated with respect and um, well, much better than you’re treating her!” Jake burst out.

  Galaxy Girl turned to give Jake a surprised look. “Well, at least someone around here gets it.” A pleased and somewhat smug expression formed on Galaxy Girl’s face.

  Red Dragon’s attention was turned to Mr. Suit and the newcomer. “Mr. Suit…don’t think you can tell me what to do, you damned pimp.” Red Dragon turned his attention to Jake next and looked him up and down. “And who’s this scruffy kid? Is he going to be a new servant here or something? Kid, why don’t you help out and polish my sword?” Red Dragon declared as he took his sheathed living-metal sword and threw it at Jake.

  Jake immediately tried to catch it but the sword hit him in his chest with such force that he was knocked backwards onto his ass with a cry. “Ah!”

  “Pathetic.” Mr. Suit said shaking his head at the fallen Jake. “That kid is none other than Jake Lonestar.” Mr. Suit decided to inform Red Dragon.

  Red Dragon’s posture showed his surprised as he looked down at the fallen Jake. “This kid is Jake Lonestar? No way.”

  “I’d look out behind you - if I were you, Red Dragon.” Mr. Suit drawled in a casual tone.

  “Keh, I don’t need your help, shitty swordsman.” Red Dragon twisted his arm behind him and stabbed the shadowy figure that had come up behind him with his hand that had turned into a clawed hand momentarily. As the figure came into view, Jake’s eyes widened upon seeing that it was a metal robot.

  “What the hell is that?” Ahhh! It’s a Terminator! Run! Jake inwardly cried.

  Ultraviolet put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “It’s just a Battle Droid. Red Dragon uses them to train.” Ultraviolet leaned over Jake and grabbed Red Dragon’s living-metal sword before straightening and then tossing the sword to Red Dragon. “Here, catch, asshole.”

  Red Dragon easily caught his sword as it was thrown to him by Ultraviolet though he did skid back a few feet from the force of her throw. “Thanks, bitchy android.” Red Dragon sneered at the Sex Droid before returning his attention back to the Battle Droids he was now facing. There were five of them. They were humanoid-shaped robots with metal bodies and glowing red eyes. Jake noticed that each of the robots had a single radio antenna on the top of its head.

  Red Dragon pulled his clawed hand out from the torso of the Battle Droid that was behind him. Jake watched as the robot sparked and fell to the floor twitching. The five Battle Droids began to close in on Red Dragon and he took a fighting stance. Jake watched curiously as the robots attacked Red Dragon and the superhero unflinchingly charged the robots. Red Dragon blocked the robots’ kicks and punches with his living-metal sword.

  Jake watched as a stray punch from one of the robots hit the wall of the dojo and left a gaping hole there. Jake gulped. The strength of the Battle Droids was unreal. The Battle Droids started shooting red lazer beams at Red Dragon. Red Dragon ran but as he did he muttered something to himself while holding his sword. “Nure Onna Evolution One.” He then turned back around to face the robots and was now able to block the lazer beams with his sword.

  Jake frowned thoughtfully and Ultraviolet decided to inform him about what was going on. “Red Dragon just connected to his living-metal sword via his psy-link in order to increase his reflexes and reaction time.”

  Jake couldn’t help but be impressed by the bastard. He stuck his tongue out slightly while feeling jealous.

  “Time to kick things up a notch.” Red Dragon growled to himself. “Nure Onna!” Red Dragon called out the name of his sword before it began to glow and then transform until the tip of the sword resembled a snake’s head with a pair of large fangs. Red Dragon faced the Battle Droids with his transformed sword and attacked. He slashed his sword at the droids and Jake watched as the sword sunk its fangs into one of the robots. “Virus Attack!” Red Dragon cried.

  Red Dragon made sure to let his sword bite each and every one of the robots before he leapt back to put some distance between them. All of a sudden the robots began to start acting strangely. Their metal bodies began to shake and spark, and Jake noticed angry, bright green lines running along the robots’ bodies before the robots began to explode one by one sending sharp pieces of metal flying dangerously through the air.

  “Ack!” Jake dived down to the floor and covered his head with his hands. “Talk about overkill.” Jake waited for the explosions to end before pushing himself up on unsteady legs. “So, if Red Dragon is Galaxy Girl’s partner then who’s Black Fox’s partner?” He piped up curiously. I still can’t get over the fact that that asshole gets to be Galaxy Girl’s partner. That just ain’t fair, man.

  “Bulldozer.” Ultraviolet jerked her cigarette in the man’s direction. “He’s a cyborg and is incredibly strong. He concentrates on training his stamina and building up his brute strength. Look.”

  Bulldozer was standing in front of a gigantic boulder that was ten feet tall by seven feet wide. Bulldozer seemed to be in a meditative state, which was probably why he wasn’t distracted by
the others’ antics. Bulldozer was huge. He was at least seven feet tall and had a hulking body. He was shirtless and wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts and a pair of combat boots. There was a large tattoo of an angry looking bull on his chest. He had two robotic arms and Jake figured his legs were probably robotic as well. He had an orange Mohawk, several piercings in his ears and was wearing an orange domino mask. Despite his strange fashion sense he was still noticeably good looking.

  Jake’s eyes widened as he looked at the gigantic living-metal sword that Bulldozer was wielding and that was beginning to glow with a lime green light as Bulldozer took a deep breath and concentrated. It was almost as huge as Bulldozer and had an incredibly long blade.

  “What kind of sword is that?” Jake breathed. “I’ve never seen anything like it, not even in comic books.”

  “That is a zanbatō, or ‘horse-slaying sword’,” Ultraviolet informed Jake. “It was made for samurai during the Feudal Era to be able to take down a rider and his horse with one swing.”

  Jake paled at Ultraviolet’s words. “A horse and its rider at the same time? The poor horse…” Jake’s expression fell before he gave Ultraviolet a curious look. “How do you know all this anyways, V?”

  Ultraviolet gave Jake an expectant look as she tapped the side of her head. “I have WiFi capabilities remember? I can instantly connect to the world’s greatest online encyclopedia. I know everything and you…know nothing.” She teased while giving Jake a smug look.

  Jake stuck his tongue out at the feisty android in a rather immature fashion.

  “HAH!” Bulldozer let out a battle cry as he swung his zanbatō down upon the gigantic boulder and cut it in half.

  “He’s already in Evolution One.” Ultraviolet explained in a low voice to Jake.

  “Woo doggie!” Jake whistled through his teeth. “That was awesome, man!”

  Bulldozer raised his eyebrows as he turned to see who had said that and his eyes landed upon a newcomer. Bulldozer grinned back at Jake in a friendly manner. “Thanks bro. Wait till you see this! Droids…bring out the…” Bulldozer paused for dramatic effect. “Cube.” He finished.

  “Right away, Samurai Superhero Bulldozer.” Came the monotone response of a few metal robots with antennas on their heads that had been standing off to the side of the dojo and merely awaiting orders. The droids exited out a door that mysteriously appeared when they touched a part of the wall of the dojo then returned carrying a solid-metal cube that was ten feet by ten feet between them. It took ten droids to carry the gigantic cube over to Bulldozer and set it down in front of the cyborg.

  Bulldozer’s grin widened and he raised his sword, “Watch this, bro! HAH!” He swung his sword, one-handed at the gigantic metal cube and it appeared as though the metal cube had been unaffected by Bulldozer’s blow until it suddenly split and both sides of the metal cube fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud.

  Jake applauded Bulldozer, thoroughly impressed. “Sweet.”

  “Thanks bro.” Bulldozer’s smile stretched across his entire face.

  Mr. Suit began to rub his temples. He could feel a headache coming on. “Oh no…the idiot birds of a feather are beginning to flock together…”

  Jake frowned back at Mr. Suit. “Bulldozer’s not an idiot - you’re just jealous of his mad skills. Booyah!”

  Everyone laughed at that and Mr. Suit blushed. “What was that? You picking a fight, lazy-ass?”

  “No…” Jake said lazily picking wax out of his ears. “Watching all that physical exertion has made me really tired. I think I’ll take a nap.” Jake stated as he laid down on the floor and promptly fell asleep, snoring loudly.

  Mr. Suit’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Nani? What?! That lazy bastard…! Get up! We’re going to spar!” Mr. Suit raised his sword and swung it at Jake’s torso, hitting Jake with the back of his sword and sending him flying across the dojo’s wooden floor.

  Galaxy Girl’s expression shifted to concern. “Hey, don’t hurt my new pack mule!”

  Black Fox raised an eyebrow at Galaxy Girl’s comment. “Pack mule?”

  A sly smile formed on Galaxy Girl’s face. “I think Jake Lonestar will easily be put to some good use. Just look at those muscles…they’re perfect for carrying my shopping bags!”

  Jake groaned as he began to push himself up off the floor.

  “He’s actually getting up.” Red Dragon spoke out, the surprise evident in his tone. Red Dragon knew from experience that Mr. Suit’s blows were fierce, even when the superhero was holding back.

  “Eh, will you look at that!” Bulldozer chuckled. “Maybe he’s not as wimpy as he acts.”

  Everyone was in shock because any normal person would have been dead, seriously injured, or at least knocked unconscious by the crazy blow. But Jake stood up and gripped his side where Mr. Suit hit him. “Ow…dammit! What the hell was that for, Mr. High and Mighty?!”

  “This is a dojo. It’s a place for training, not a place for napping.” Mr. Suit drawled in merciless tone. “You damned lazy-ass. You’re here to train, remember?”

  Jake pouted back at Mr. Suit. “But I don’t wanna~” Jake said in whiney voice. “I really have no interest in learning how to fight. I don’t like physical exertion, or pain, and I can’t stand the sight of blood. I just want to learn how to control my nanomachine powers. So troublesome…” Then if I can control my nanomachine powers…maybe…just maybe I can finally get laid! Booyah!

  The real reason why Jake Lonestar wanted to train was finally revealed: as long as he possessed his crazy strength due to the nanomachines Jake couldn’t touch a woman without the fear of hurting her.

  But Jake knew that as soon as he was able to control his nanomachine strength that he’d be able to touch women…and there were endless sexual possibilities.

  Mr. Suit’s eye twitched in annoyance in response to Jake’s childish attitude. “You have no interest in learning how to fight? Arghhh!” Mr. Suit tugged at his flawlessly styled hair.

  “Ah! Be careful with your hair!” Galaxy Girl exclaimed, watching the beginnings of a fashion emergency!

  Black Fox chuckled softly in amusement before she noticed Bulldozer taking out a beer. Her eyes widened and she slowly licked her lips as she watched Bulldozer open the can of beer and begin to chug it.

  Bulldozer felt an intense stare upon him and turned to see Black Fox watching him intently. Bulldozer’s expression turned smug. She’s so checking me out.

  I would really love to have a beer right about now. But drinking beer doesn’t go with the superhero image I’ve created. Dammit. Black Fox inwardly complained.

  “How am I supposed to train this useless idiot! That’s it…he’s dead! Ahhh!” Mr. Suit raised his living-metal katana and charged Jake-!

  [Jake VS Mr. Suit] Fight…err, Spar!

  Jake raised a hand in front of his mouth as he yawned. He really had no motivation. He didn’t want to fight. He had no interest in it. Jake knew that Mr. Suit was right about him, but he couldn’t help who he was. Yet at the same time he still wished he could protect his friends (and get laid) anyways. But what the hell was he supposed to do? You can’t just change from a lazy coward to a brave hero overnight. Right?

  He just wanted to take a nap. Mr. Suit was fast but to Jake his movements seemed almost slow. Jake yawned again and frowned at Mr. Suit as he easily began to dodge the superhero’s attacks and sword swipes. This caused him to raise an eyebrow at Mr. Suit. Surely, the superhero was holding back. “Dude, can’t we do this later or something? Even you’re not taking this seriously.” Jake stated.

  Mr. Suit scowled at Jake’s comment and deigned not to respond since Jake was incorrect - Mr. Suit was fighting seriously. What was strange was that the fool was actually able to keep up with his attacks. What the hell was happening?

  The Samurai Superheroes also seemed to be surprised by this turn of events. “He’s actually managing to dodge Mr. Suit’s attacks…what the fuck?” Red Dragon
questioned aloud.

  “Watch your language, you crude barbarian.” Galaxy Girl complained as she stood next to Red Dragon and watched Jake and Mr. Suit sparing.

  “Apparently, it looks like we’ve all underestimated, Jake Lonestar.” Black Fox crowed, amused.

  He will become a useful manservant. Galaxy Girl inwardly cackled to herself.

  “Woo. Look at ‘em go at it!” Bulldozer whistled as he opened another can of beer. “So he’s the new guy, huh? That’s Jake Lonestar.”

  “Yes, he is our new member.” Black Fox informed Bulldozer while eyeing his beer.

  “New honorary member.” Red Dragon felt the need to correct. “Let’s see how long that wimpy kid lasts. Who’d like to make a bet? I bet that kid doesn’t last a day once he actually has to face a cyborg criminal. I bet he’ll go running home to mommy!”

  “I’ll take that bet.” Black Fox’s dark eyes glittered with mischief. “I’ll bet a hundred dollars that Jake Lonestar won’t quit the SSF.” When I win I’ll have the money to buy a lot of beer. A creepy smile formed on Black Fox’s face. Beerrrrr. She mentally drooled.

  “You’re on, Black Fox.” Red Dragon smirked at the creepy superheroine.

  Mr. Suit was getting pissed at Jake’s cowardly behavior. “Stop running away and face me like a man, geeky loser!” Mr. Suit walked over to the dojo wall and pulled down a random living-metal sword. He then tossed the sword at Jake. “Use this.”

  Jake absentmindedly caught it and frowned down at the sword, perplexed. He’d never even held a sword before, let alone a high-tech living-metal sword. Jake ran his hand thoughtfully over the silvery blade when- “Ow!” Jake exclaimed as the sword bit him. “Hey! I think this damned sword just bit me?!” Jake’s expression turned fearful.

  Mr. Suit merely nodded and appeared calm. “Of course it did, idiot. That is a living-metal sword. It just implanted you with a psy-nanomachine that will enable you to have a psy-link with the sword, which should enable you to be able to control the sword. You’ll be able to bring it into its evolutions and then be able to transform the sword. Living-metal swords not only have the ability to be able to cut through just about any substance they can also change their shape. This is how they received the name ‘living’ metal.”

  “Control it? How?” Jake asked, feeling dumbfounded. He didn’t understand a single thing that Mr. Suit had just said.

  “By using your will, idiot.” Ultraviolet informed Jake helpfully.

  “My will…” Jake scrunched his eyebrows together in thought. I totally…don’t get it! Geez! I’m doomed.

  “Ahhh!” Mr. Suit yelled as he rushed forward. Suddenly, Mr. Suit’s smart-suit began to glow with a blue light and then Mr. Suit was suddenly moving at an incredible speed. Jake barely managed to get his sword up in time to block Mr. Suit’s deadly attack. Mr. Suit gave Jake an impressed look but attacked him again. Jake concentrated with everything he had and blocked the next attack. Everyone was impressed.

  Mr. Suit began to get angry. This was like a bad joke. This loser who had no interest in becoming a living-metal swordsman was incredibly skilled. “What the hell, Jake Lonestar? Are you making a fool out of me? So far you’ve been able to block or dodge all of my attacks and even though you’ve never even handled a living-metal sword before you’ve been able to use it to block my sword attacks. And yet you say you have no interest in learning how to fight when it’s obvious that you’re incredibly skilled! I’ve trained so hard…for so many years to get to my current level.” Mr. Suit gripped his hands around the hilt of his sword until his knuckles turned white. “And you just waltz in here and…” Mr. Suit trailed off and hung his head. This can’t be possible…I’ve trained so hard to get this far and this stupid hick is besting me? Impossible. If that’s true, what have I been doing all this time?

  Jake lowered his sword and gave Mr. Suit a confused look. What the hell was he talking about? Saying that Jake was skilled. That was crazy. Mr. Suit was the one who was incredible. But Jake would rather die than say this out loud.

  Suddenly, Mr. Suit looked up and gave Jake a determined look. “I get it. You’re testing me aren’t you? You want to see if I’ll make a worthy partner. The fact that you are able to even keep up with my movements means you have a high skill level. I can’t really be this weak. I won’t lose to someone who doesn’t even seem to realize his own strength. Or his incredible potential. Ōkami Evolution One!” Mr. Suit yelled and his sword was bathed in a green-tinged light.

  Uh oh…he’s getting serious. Maybe I should too? Or just pretend to get serious anyways. Yea, that should be enough. I don’t really want to be here fighting anyways. “Living-metal sword Evolution One!” Jake raised his sword into the air. “Transform!”

  Everyone gave Jake and his sword an expectant look but - nothing happened.

  “Aw man…” Jake groaned. “This sucks…”

  Mr. Suit’s sword on the other hand began to morph before it transformed into a gigantic metal claw. He attacked Jake with it and the claw wrapped around Jake’s sword. He then pulled back and ripped Jake’s sword out of his hands. Mr. Suit tossed Jake’s sword aside and in seconds the claw-sword was at Jake’s throat. Jake gulped and his Adam’s apple hit the blade.

  Mr. Suit was furious. “Your connection to the living-metal sword was weak. It could sense you were only halfheartedly fighting me. To control a living-metal weapon…or the nanomachines inside of you - you need to strengthen your will.” Mr. Suit growled at Jake as he lowered his claw-sword from Jake’s neck. Mr. Suit’s sword transformed back into a normal katana.

  “How?” Jake asked bluntly.

  “How?” Mr. Suit sneered wondering if Jake was pulling his leg but then he noticed the serious expression on Jake’s face and sighed. “You…” Mr. Suit faltered for a moment. “Need to become stronger first. I’ll start you out with some physical training and then we’ll spar. With strength comes confidence and gaining confidence should strengthen your will.” Mr. Suit declared as he pushed his green-tinted sunglasses up his nose.

  Jake sighed. “That sounds troublesome…I’d rather nap…”

  Mr. Suit abruptly grabbed Jake by the front of his Superman t-shirt and glared into his eyes fiercely. Jake was surprised by how much anger and hate was in Mr. Suit’s gaze. “What did you say? How dare you. I can’t stand people like you. You have so much strength and potential but you don’t care. If I had your special nanomachine body I would use it to become the greatest living-metal swordsman in the galaxy! You lazy idiot!”

  “The greatest living-metal swordsman in the galaxy?” Jake blinked. “Well, let’s not set the bar low or anything now, egotistic prick.”

  Mr. Suit puffed his chest up and gave Jake a superior look. “To become the greatest living-metal swordsman in the galaxy is my dream, or should I say my ambition. I will accomplish it. You’ll see. It’ll just take me some time…dammit if I had your special body I would become an unbeatable swordsman that no cyborg could defeat, in no time. Once I’ve become stronger I’ll defeat Zippo a.k.a Zero One the most powerful of Nova Inara’s Nemesis Zeros, then I’ll defeat Nix Duo a.k.a Zero Two, and then I’ll kill him.” Mr. Suit’s voice was dripping with hatred as he remembered the man whom he held a grudge against and who he trained everyday for in order to get strong enough to kill him.

  “Him?” Jake asked curiously. Mr. Suit has someone he wants to kill. Jake shuddered. I sure hope I don’t get myself on Mr. Suit’s shit list.

  Mr. Suit ignored Jake since he hadn’t really meant to mention that man. “Once I defeat Zippo and Nix Duo there will be nothing standing between us and Nova Inara. The rest of the Nemesis Zeros are small fries compared to those two. I hate people like you who have no dreams or ambitions. You have no goals or motivation. You’re just floating your way through life. You won’t be able to accomplish anything worthwhile like that. Your life won’t even leave a footprint behind. You won’t be able to protect anyone like that either, idiot.” Mr. S
uit glared at Jake who just glared back and remained silent.

  Jake couldn’t think up a proper comeback for that cocky swordsman because…Mr. Suit was right. The way Jake was he wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything on his own - nor protect anyone. But what could he do? It all seemed so…troublesome. He just…wanted to be able to protect the people he cared about without having to put any real effort into it. He wanted an easy way out. However, he would have to keep depending on Ultraviolet and Mr. Suit if he did that. But wasn’t there an easy way to gain power that wasn’t really his own? Like a temporary loan or something?

  “That’s what I thought.” Mr. Suit gave Jake a disappointed look before he turned and walked out of the dojo with long strides.

  Jake watched him go and let out a deep sigh. As soon as Mr. Suit was gone Jake was suddenly surrounded by the other members of the Samurai Superheroes Force.

  “Hey, we were never properly introduced. The name’s Bulldozer. Pleased to meetcha.” Bulldozer stuck his gigantic robotic hand for Jake to shake.

  “Er, uh, nice to meet you too…I’m Jake Lonestar.” Jake put his hand into Bulldozer’s and they shook until Bulldozer suddenly clenched his fingers around Jake’s hand more tightly. “Ah…owowowow…dude you’re squeezing my hand too hard!” Jake complained.

  Bulldozer gave Jake a surprised look before quickly letting go of Jake’s hand. “Oops, sorry about that, bro. It’s just I thought you could probably handle it since you were even able to hold your own like that against Mr. Suit. That was pretty cool. No one can keep up with Mr. Suit, especially once his smart-suit is in supersonic speed mode. How did you do it?”

  “Uh, err, I…suppose it has to do with the nanomachines that are inside of my body. They increase my speed.” Jake tried to explain.

  “You see, it’s not his own strength. It’s a borrowed strength that comes from the nanomachines that Nova Inara injected him with. He’s going to be completely useless.” Red Dragon complained.

  “Mr. Sunshine over there is Red Dragon.” Bulldozer introduced the other superhero.

  “Did you know that red is actually a villain color?” Jake shot back.

  Red Dragon’s temple throbbed in ire. “Why I oughta…” Red Dragon was saying as he approached Jake while cracking his knuckles. However, he was suddenly shoved out of the way as Galaxy Girl and Black Fox walked over to introduce themselves to Jake.

  Galaxy Girl shoved Red Dragon aside and he surprisingly went flying. “So, you’re the infamous Jake Lonestar? It’s a pleasure to meet you. You probably already know who I am. I’m-”

  Jake interrupted her. “Galaxy Girl. Yea, I know. I’m a…” Jake blushed. “Fan.”

  Galaxy Girl blinked back at Jake in surprise before her expression became pleased. “Well, of course you are! Who isn’t a fan of me? I’m just that awesome! They’re even listening to me in Texas hmm?” Galaxy Girl reached out her hand for Jake to take.

  Jake hesitated and took her hand as gently as possible but quickly dropped it. Galaxy Girl gave Jake a perplexed look before he grinned goofily at her and said. “You must be from the future because you’ve just beamed my heart away, baby.”

  Galaxy Girl raised an eyebrow at the cheesy pickup line and began to laugh nervously. “You think so?” Galaxy Girl looked Jake over and decided that he was definitely handsome. The only problem was that he was a complete idiot. “Hmm, I’ve decided that you can be the SSF’s eye candy, Jake.”

  “Eye candy?” Jake asked.

  “Yes…but do you know what eye candy does that’s similar to real candy?” Galaxy Girl questioned as she reached out to stroke Jake’s cheek teasingly.

  “No? What?” Jake trembled nervously beneath her slight touch.

  Galaxy Girl pulled her hand back. “You are to remain silent. Your idiotic ramblings ruin the whole effect of your handsomeness.”

  Jake blinked. “I think that was an insult but I can’t really be too sure…” Jake said in a hushed voice to Bulldozer.

  Bulldozer chuckled and whacked Jake hard on the back. “She totally insulted you just now, bro.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Jake hung his head.

  “You are really quite amusing.” Came a sultry voice and Jake looked up to see that Black Fox was standing in front of him. She put out her hand for him to take and didn’t seem to be offended when he only took it for a moment. “You’re afraid you’re going to hurt me with your incredible strength, aren’t you? That’s why you pulled back.”

  Jake’s eyes widened and he nodded dumbled. “Yea…how did you know that? Are you psychic or something?”

  Black Fox chuckled softly. “Oh heavens no. But what about me? Don’t I get a chessy pickup line? I’m beginning to feel left out.” Black Fox gave Jake an expectant look.

  A grin broke out across Jake’s face at the unexpected request. “You, me, here…” Jake motioned to the dojo. “This couldn’t be any better if I programmed the holodeck myself.” He winked at her.

  Black Fox let out an amused chuckle. “He really is amusing.”

  Galaxy Girl was giving Jake a pout. “If he was afraid of hurting me…then why didn’t he just say so?”

  Jake turned to look at Galaxy Girl and his eyes nearly fell out of his head at what he saw next. From out of nowhere, Galaxy Girl suddenly had a lounge chair, which she was currently reclining in, and a small table was now sitting next to her. Surrounding her were three men dressed in silver and blue spacesuits that had space helmets on their heads with black tinted visors, so that you were unable to see their faces. One of the spacemen was doing Galaxy Girl’s manicure, while another was giving her a foot massage and the last one was setting out some lemonade for her on the table.

  Jake did a double take. “Who the hell are those guys?”

  “Those are Galaxy Girl’s managers.” Black Fox informed Jake simply.

  Galaxy Girl reached out to pick up the glass of lemonade that even had a tiny blue umbrella in it. “Make sure you polish my Christian Louboutin boots after you’re done with my foot massage, Number Two.”

  “Understood, Galaxy Girl.” The spaceman responded in a monotonous sounding voice.

  “You must be exhausted after all that training, Galaxy Girl. Please take your time and relax.” Number One said in a monotone voice as he continued to file her nails.

  Number Three began to massage Galaxy Girl’s shoulders. “You’re so tense, Galaxy Girl. After this you have an interview to go to and after that you have a photo shoot. You really need to be more careful not to injure your face. I can see a slight scratch on your nose.”

  “A scratch?!” Galaxy Girl exclaimed and held out her hand. “Number One, mirror.”

  “Yes, Galaxy Girl.” Number One swiftly handed Galaxy Girl a hand mirror.

  Galaxy Girl gazed at her reflection and her eyes widened in shock and horror. “My face…my nose…it’s all red! Argh! That must be from when I fell flat on my face! Black Fox how could you do this to me!? My face is important - I’m a celebrity!”

  “Why don’t you wear a full facemask then. If you’re so worried about injuring your face.” Black Fox suggested in a bland tone.

  Galaxy Girl began to fume. “What I should do is quit the SSF…but I can’t. My father will never allow me to. This sucks…” Galaxy Girl complained.

  “Why wouldn’t your father let you quit?” Jake asked curiously.

  “He happens to be the living-metal swordsman who trained the entire SSF.” Galaxy Girl sighed. “He was so happy and proud of me when I was chosen by a living-metal sword, but to me…it was like a nightmare. All I’ve ever wanted to do since I was little was sing and now…I’m forced to fight disgusting cyborgs. It’s awful.”

  “I understand.” Because really Jake could understand Galaxy Girl’s not wanting to fight cyborgs when all he wanted to do was take a nap.

  Galaxy Girl gave Jake a surprised look. “You understand…oh Jake!” Galaxy Girl reached out and grasped Jake’s hand ma
king Red Dragon suck in a breath. “You’re on my side, right? You’ll help me out with things that Dr. Valery makes me do that I don’t want to do, right?”

  “Er…sure.” Jake quickly agreed.

  “Looks like Galaxy Girl has gotten herself a new slave.” Black Fox said in a low voice to Bulldozer.

  “Looks like you’re off the hook, Red Dragon.” Bulldozer teased.

  “Like I give a damn!” Red Dragon exclaimed before stomping out of the dojo suddenly.

  “He must be jealous.” Black Fox declared, smiling brightly.

  Bulldozer gave Black Fox a surprised look. “And how do you know that? I can’t even see his face?”

  “His wearing a mask can’t hide his feelings from me.” Black Fox said.

  Bulldozer shivered. “You know, you can be kinda scary, Black Fox.”

  Black Fox merely continued to smile. “Is that so?”

  Even though Jake was having fun getting to know the members of the Samurai Superheroes Force he still felt like he needed some time alone. The things Mr. Suit had said to him were still echoing through his mind so Jake snuck out of the dojo and began to wander down hallways in the mansion at random while deep in thought.

  Now, being deep in thought was very unusual for Jake Lonestar. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Suit and what he had said to him. The cool living-metal swordsman was the polar opposite of himself: motivated, ambitious, hard working. Mr. Suit had dreams and an ambition. He was strong, skilled, and popular with the ladies. Mr. Suit almost seemed too perfect and this pissed Jake off.

  Life just wasn’t fair. Jake decided. Some people like Mr. Suit were born skilled and talented…whereas Jake had been born a lazy coward. Though he’d been given strength he still couldn’t use it due to his cowardice.

  I know it’s selfish but…I want to be able to protect my friends without having to really do anything about it. I want strength without having to really earn it. Jake thought to himself.

  An easy way out? You want strength without having to earn it? And I need a body if I am to accomplish my goal. I think a suitable agreement can be reached, shounen. Come to me. A deep, rumbling voice called out to Jake in his mind.

  Jake gripped his head in surprise and looked around the abandoned hallway frantically as he instantly became afraid. “Oh my God! There’s a voice in my head! Where the hell did it come from?! Was it a-a-a g-g-ghost?!”

  I am not a ghost, bakayaro! The now angry sounding gruff voice shouted in Jake’s head.

  Jake let out a breath of relief. “You’re not? Phew…but then who are you?”

  My name is Orochi. I am an ancient, yokai, samurai warrior. And I can help you, baka. Now, hurry - come to me and set me free from this prison.

  Jake shrugged. An ancient samurai? Set him free? “Where do I go exactly? Where are you?”

  Continue down the hallway and take a left. Then continue on until you come to a solid metal door…

  Jake shrugged and nodded. Ah, what the hell. Now he was listening to voices inside of his head. Things had gotten uber weird since he had arrived in New York City.

  Jake shuffled his way down the hallway, took a left and continued on until he came to a towering metal door. Jake craned his neck to see the top of the door. It was at least ten feet wide and fifteen feet high. “Now that’s a big door.” There was a large sign on the door, which read: DO NOT ENTER. Jake gulped. “It says ‘do not enter’. What should I do?”

  Do you want my help or not, pathetic human weakling?!

  “Alright already, geez…no need to yell at me, meanie. Now, how do I open this thing…” Jake scratched his chin before spotting the high-tech, fingerprint identification pad that was directly next to the door and that had the glowing image of a hand on it, which probably meant that was where Jake was supposed to place his hand. “There’s a fingerprint identification thingie next to the door.” Jake explained.

  Then you’ll need to defeat someone who is allowed access to this room and cut their hand off. Then bring their hand here and enter. The voice said coolly.

  Jake paled at the samurai’s swords. “Violent tendencies much? But don’t worry I got this covered Mr. Samurai. Things like this happen to be my specialty.” Jake smirked and cracked his knuckles while approaching the fingerprint identification pad.

  Ah, are you a hacker? The voice sounded impressed and surprised. So you can be capable on occasion?

  “Damn straight.” Jake dramatically put his hand over the fingerprint identification pad and waited while whistling a little tune. “Any second now…”

  The samurai had a mental eye twitch. What are you doing, bakayaro?

  “Just wait…this should work…it always does…probably…” Jake stated with very little confidence.

  What are you talking about, you fool? The voice of the samurai barked in Jake’s head.

  Suddenly, Jake’s touch began to react with the electronic fingerprint identification pad, which began to spark before it blew up with a small boom! The impressive metal door slid open with a whoosh. Jake’s expression turned smug. “See? Told ya~” Jake said in a singsong voice.

  Impressive, you pathetic human. Proceed.

  Jake entered the room hesitantly with his legs trembling slightly. As he entered several bright lights automatically came on to reveal: a cylindrical metal stand in the very center of the room that a sword was imbedded into. A dome of glass covered the sword. Next, Jake curiously looked around the chamber that the sword was being kept inside. The room resembled the interior of a gigantic metal cube and was thirty feet by thirty feet. There were glowing lines of energy running across the metal floor that resembled the complex circuits of a motherboard. Jake figured that the floor would probably be able to detect his presence right away and that the floor itself was like a booby trap. Off to the side of the cube, was a super computer that was linked to the floor and to a built in security system.

  “What the hell is up with this place? And Orochi where are you?” Jake asked as he looked around the interior of the room that he began to think looked like the interior of a gigantic Rubik’s Cube. “I only see a sword in the middle of this room…”

  That’s me, bakayaro! I am an A.I. living-metal katana known as Orochi…the Dragon Alien Warrior Race programmed me themselves. I am their ultimate creation…their ultimate weapon…

  Jake’s eyes widened like saucers as he stared at the samurai sword that was in the very center of the room. “You’re a living-metal sword? Huh. What is this place? Why is there so much security here…to protect you…or to keep you here…?” Jake was beginning to feel nervous.

  This is a Death Cube. It’s said to be the best holding facility in existence. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all touch-sensitive. The slightest touch to any surface of this room will activate the security system, which consists of deadly accurate, lazer beams. The entire thing is electronic. Boy, you’ve heard of the legend of Orochi, correct? The living-metal sword asked quickly, with a note of pride in his voice.

  Jake shook his head. “Actually…no…”

  No?! Where have you been living, pathetic human? Under a rock?

  “I’ve been living in Amarillo, Texas. On a horse ranch called the Lonestar Ranch.” Jake explained.

  Ah, a foreigner…I thought we were still in Japan. So you’re an American. Well, perhaps you’ve heard of the legend of Excalibur then?

  “Hell yea…King Arthur’s magical sword. The Sword of Kings. The most powerful sword in the world…forged by Merlin using a dragon’s breath.” Jake enthusiastically explained.

  Well, I, Orochi, am like Excalibur - I am a legendary Japanese sword said to be the most powerful sword in the world. There is a folktale that is an account of my legend. I will narrate it to you.

  Over five hundred years ago…somewhere in Japan…

  An alien prince known as Susanoo had pursued a Galactic Most Wanted criminal to Earth. As he closed in on the alien criminal he encountered a griev
ing human family in Kunitsukami. A man named Ashinazuchi was the head of the family. When Prince Susanoo inquired of the man what was going on he explained that his family was being ravaged by a powerful yokai wielding a sword that appeared to be possessed by an eight-headed dragon.

  Now, I don’t know if you already know this, boy, but yokai are actually aliens and that sword happened to be me. Anyways, the alien criminal posing as a yokai had already killed eight of Ashinazuchi’s daughters because they had refused the alien’s advances. But the criminal wanted to propose to Ashinazuchi’s final daughter, who was named Kushinada-hime. Kushinada-hime was the most beautiful and most kind of Ashinazuchi’s eight daughters. I remember her well…

  There was a sad, almost wistful tone to Orochi’s voice as he spoke about Kushinada-hime. And Jake did not fail to note this.

  He sounds…sad. How can an A.I. living-metal sword feel sad about anyone though? I thought these weapons weren’t supposed to be capable of human emotions. Jake’s head was spinning.

  Prince Susanoo fought against the alien who wielded me and was defeated. But Susanoo didn’t give up and instead devised a plan to kill my Master. He asked Ashinazuchi for Kushinada’s hand in marriage in return if he happened to be successful in slaying the Most Wanted alien criminal. This was agreed to. Susanoo spied upon my Master for several days before discovering his weakness.

  Then Susanoo prepared a lavish banquet that had a tempting amount of sake. While my Master was incapacitated due to the sake, Susanoo managed to defeat us using his own living-metal sword that was called Worochi no Aramasa. He then managed to cut me in two pieces, and a piece of me formed a sword called Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi, which was presented to the Alien Princess Amaterasu to settle a debt.

  Several generations later, during the reign of the Emperor Keiko, the sword that had once been a piece of me was given to a great human warrior named Yamato Takeru by his Aunt, who happened to be a shrine maiden of Ise, in order to protect her nephew from a peril she had foreseen…

  Later, during a battle Yamato was lured into an open grass field by a treacherous warlord. There Yamato made good use of the sword that used to be a part of me, otherwise known as Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi. The warlord ordered his men to loose flame arrows in a circle around Yamato, so that the grass would ignite and trap Yamato ensuring his death.

  But Yamato whipped out his sword and slashed it through the air, only to discover that it was no ordinary sword but a living-metal sword. He discovered that it could emit plasma attacks, which acted much like wind, so that the fire was blown away.

  Yamato used the power of the sword to blow the fire in the direction of the warlord and his men. Because of his victory Yamato renamed the sword that was a part of me: Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi to commemorate his narrow escape and victory. Kusanagi is said to be the most powerful living-metal sword in existence, but it is merely a small part of me. In reality, -I- am the most powerful living-metal sword in existence…

  That is why there is so much security here…if I were to fall into the wrong hands…the world could be destroyed. But that’s assuming I allow that person to be my Master. I am not weak like the other living-metal swords. No wielder can control MY WILL! That’s also why I am considered a dangerous living-metal weapon.

  There is no samurai who exists who is willing to submit their will to me to help fulfill my objective. Except perhaps you, foolish human.

  “And what is your objective exactly?” Jake asked nervously and licked his lips.

  For now…to defeat Nova Inara.

  “Nova Inara?” Jake asked out loud and in surprise. “The leader of the Noppera-bo Gang that seems to be the cause of all this chaos? I guess we have a common enemy then. And they say the enemy of my enemy is my friend so…yea, samurai I don’t think I’d mind submitting my will to yours as long as you give me the strength to protect my friends in return. So, what do you say?”

  Then, we have reached an accord, pathetic human. Now…you’ll have to figure out a way to disable the security system of the Death Cube.

  “Piece of cake…” Jake declared as he reached down, took his VANS off, and then his socks. He then began to walk towards Orochi with his bare feet touching the floor of the Death Cube.

  The floor, walls and ceiling immediately began to react to Jake’s touch. Round, hidden compartments opened and blasters emerged which aimed themselves at Jake. The blasters fired but instead of aiming accurately the blasters began to aim at random and began firing all over the Death Cube. Jake smirked, since the security system obviously wasn’t acting the way it was supposed to. The blasters then began to spin rapidly, sparking and shooting in all directions before they began to explode one by one.

  Jake decided this was his chance to sprint the rest of the way to Orochi. “AHHHH!” He screamed in fear as he ducked and dodged errant lazer beams. “This plan seemed a whole lot easier and less dangerous in my head! I’m so going to die!”

  Hurry up, coward! You’re almost there! The sword urged.

  Jake reached his hand out towards the glass, which seemed to lower as Jake’s hand neared it. Jake placed his hand around the hilt of Orochi-

  Just as several lazer beams sped Jake’s way. Jake shut his eyes awaiting the inevitable pain.

  I’m so going to DIEEEE! Jake inwardly moaned. However, Huh? The pain didn’t come. Jake opened his eyes but realized that he was no longer in control of his own body. Someone else was in control. Crap.

  Orochi, who was now in control of Jake’s body, was wielding the living-metal katana before him. Orochi tied Jake’s hair up into a ponytail to keep the hair out of his face and then quickly used his sword to deflect the lazer beams that were still coming at him with little effort.

  Orochi grinned triumphantly. “I am samurai Orochi! All who stand in my way shall be cut down!” Orochi looked towards the exit of the Death Cube, raised his sword, and charged for the exit while the blasters continued to go haywire dangerously shooting at random. Red lazer beams went zooming towards Orochi but he raised his living-metal sword, which glowed with a green-tinged light and easily blocked the beams while moving his sword gracefully through the air.

  Wow! The samurai Orochi has MAD skills…! Jake thought. He was definitely impressed.

  “This is nothing, for an advanced piece of alien technology such as myself.” Orochi successfully escaped the Death Cube as a loud explosion went off behind him within the Death Cube. Sinister flames burst out from the exit of the Death Cube as Orochi casually walked away with his sword held at his side and at the ready. It almost looked like the flames had been trying to reach out and grasp Orochi.

  The super computer, which was linked with the entire mansion, was immediately alerted to the destruction of the Death Cube. “WARNING. WARNING. THERE HAS BEEN A SECURITY BREECH IN THE DEATH CUBE. DEATH CUBE HAS BEEN DESTROYED. SAMURAI SUPERHEROES ARE TO PROCEED TO THE SCENE IMMEDIATELY.”

  This booming message was broadcast throughout the entire mansion via the various speakers that had been set up everywhere. The SSF as well as Ultraviolet and Dr. Valery hurriedly made their way to where the Death Cube had previously been located. They arrived just in time to see ‘Jake’ exiting the Death Cube and holding a living-metal sword at his side at the ready as flames erupted behind him in a dramatic fashion. Everyone was completely in shock that Jake of all people had stolen Orochi!

  Inner Jake could see that the SFF and the others had assembled and thought the timing couldn’t be better: Damn, I bet I looked so cool just then. I hope Galaxy Girl was impressed!

  “Jake…what the hell are you doing? How did you get your hands on Orochi? Are you in control of your mind?” Dr. Valery asked quickly, worry etched into her features.

  “Stand aside, lowly human woman. I have a mission to accomplish.” Orochi declared as he strode past Dr. Valery with purposeful steps. “Oh and woman, go change into some more appropirate attire. Your attire is shameless.” Orochi declared as he looked back at the doctor’
s bare legs.

  Mr. Suit’s eye twitched. “He’s not in control of his body at all…that’s Orochi’s A.I. personality. Shit.”

  Red Dragon had an amused posture. “That idiot got himself possessed by a living-metal sword! Huh! How pathetic is that?! Just how weak willed is that loser…?” He sneered.

  Inner Jake: Hey…I agreed to let Orochi have control. Jake mentally stuck his tongue out at Red Dragon in an immature manner.

  Galaxy Girl watched as Jake passed her by while completely ignoring her. “He seems so different now. So manly.” Galaxy Girl gushed to herself as her eyes turned into two large hearts. “Wow. He looks like he could take on the world. He looks so confident and handsome.”

  “That’s not Jake, Galaxy Girl - that’s the A.I. consciousness, Orochi.” Black Fox warned the superficial pop singer.

  Galaxy Girl’s eyes widened at what Black Fox had said before she glared at the other woman. “I totally knew that.”

  “Jake got his hands on Orochi all on his own?” Bulldozer said aloud before smiling. “That’s cause for celebration, I think.” Bulldozer pulled out another can of beer, which he quickly opened and began to chug. “Ah! That’s the stuff! That kid is one unpredictable guy. I like him.”

  Black Fox gave Bulldozer a jealous look. He has to keep drinking beer in front of me. This is torture.

  Bulldozer noticed Black Fox’s look and grinned. “Don’t worry, babe, I like you more than I like him.”

  Black Fox hung her head. No one gets it!

  Dr. Valery frowned as her blue eyes trailed after Jake. “Someone stop him. We can’t have that rogue living-metal sword doing whatever the hell it wants.” She pushed her glasses up her nose and actually looked serious for once, which was unnerving.

  “You can count on me, Commander!” Mr. Suit immediately went to stand in front of Orochi and unsheathed Ōkami to point it at Orochi.

  Orochi raised an eyebrow at Mr. Suit’s daring actions. “You think you can defeat me, lowly human? But you are mistaken. You are weak. I will easily defeat you, so why even bother standing in my way? What is your purpose?”

  I can’t believe it! Orochi…the legendary sword that I’ve been seeking for years is finally in front of me. I’ve been waiting for this moment. Mr. Suit thought to himself as he took a deep breath. “My purpose is to duel you, Orochi. I will defeat you and then you will acknowledge me as your new Wielder. I am the man destined to become the greatest living-metal samurai in the galaxy. I will defeat you and then I will defeat Zippo, Nix Duo, and then him.”

  “You wish to duel me, living-metal samurai? You are weak and unskilled. If you were strong, you would be able to sense our difference in strength. You must be incredibly foolish and perhaps reckless to challenge me. You will regret this.”

  “Evolution Two!” Mr. Suit cried as his living-metal sword Ōkami glowed with a green-tinged light before the holographic image of a white wolf wearing a tuxedo and smoking a fancy Romeo and Julieta cigar appeared next to him.

  “Two can play at that game, Evolution One…Two!” Orochi roared raising his sword high into the air before him as it was engulfed in a green-tinged glow. Slowly beginning to materialize next to him was a gigantic creature that began to form eight heads that were swaying back and forth in a menacing manner. As the holographic image became clearer everyone was startled to see an majestic eight-headed dragon, with shimmering emerald green scales and piercing golden eyes.

  Inner Jake: Cool~ what a kick-ass looking dragon…so that is the holographic projection of Orochi’s true self…neat. Mr. Suit doesn’t stand a chance. Hah!

  [Mr. Suit VS Orochi] Fight!

  The two living-metal samurai charged each other executing their attacks as they swiftly passed one another-

  Blood spurted from a slash wound that opened up on Mr. Suit’s chest and he dropped his sword. He looked down at the wound in disbelief. His smart-suit should have offered himself some kind of protection from the attack although a living-metal sword could cut through anything and Mr. Suit’s nanomachine suit was not made out the same indestructible alloy that living-metal swords were. Mr. Suit’s smart-suit began to spark dangerously.

  “Mr. Suit!” Galaxy Girl cried out as she spun to glare heatedly at Orochi. “How could you? He’s your partner and…you’ve totally ruined his whole fashionable ensemble. Red is definitely not Mr. Suit’s color.”

  Inner Jake: Orochi, dude…don’t you think you went a little too far? These guys are our allies.

  Allies? How so? Orochi spoke directly into Jake’s mind.

  They’re also enemies of Nova Inara. Jake explained quickly, mentally crossing his fingers.

  I see…you should have spoken up sooner if you had wanted these people unharmed.

  Gah! Then…don’t hurt them! Jake stated to clarify his intentions. Moron.

  Understood…I won’t harm them. Just incapacitate them. Orochi agreed.

  “This is a fashion emergency!” Galaxy Girl charged Orochi recklessly with her naginata, a fierce look in her large, dark blue eyes.

  Red Dragon watched Galaxy Girl’s actions with wide eyes. “If only she’d get serious like that when training was involved.”

  Orochi raised an eyebrow at Galaxy Girl and her sexy space dress. “What era is this? Women’s clothing has become so shameless. And female samurai never belonged on the battlefield to begin with. They only served to distract men during the heat of battle.” Orochi easily disarmed Galaxy Girl and punched her in the stomach to knock her out cold.

  Black Fox cringed. “That had to hurt.”

  “Galaxy Girl!” Red Dragon shouted loudly. “Shit. You fucking bastard…how dare you touch my partner. The only one who can bully Galaxy Girl - is me! Arghhh!” Red Dragon was the next one to foolhardily charge Orochi. “Evolution One!” Red Dragon’s sword transformed until its tip resembled the head of a snake with large fangs once more.

  Red Dragon and Orochi’s swords clashed. Orochi easily blocked Red Dragon’s attacks but Red Dragon waited patiently before he finally saw an opening and took it. Red Dragon’s sword bit into the side of Orochi’s neck-

  But Orochi had trapped Red Dragon having managed to imbed his sword in Red Dragon’s shoulder.

  “God damn bastard…” Red Dragon grit out.

  Orochi pulled his sword out of Red Dragon’s shoulder and put a hand to the bite wound on his neck quizzically.

  Though Red Dragon sunk to his knees from the pain he still wore a triumphant look on his face beneath his mask. “Aha! I did it - I defeated you! I just infected your body’s nanomachines with a powerful virus!”

  Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.

  Orochi could feel the virus attacking the nanomachines that flowed through the veins of the body of Jake Lonestar. Orochi stumbled forward as a searing pain suddenly filled his entire body. Orochi cried out as he sunk to his knees.

  Even though he was trapped in his own mind Jake was somehow able to feel the pain too and screamed.

  Orochi glared at Red Dragon defiantly. “You think this pathetic attack is enough to stop me? Think again, pathetic human!” Orochi staggered to his feet and raised his sword as it glowed with a green-tinged light, before this light then engulfed Jake’s entire body. “Virus Purge!”

  The angry green lines that had appeared up Jake’s arms and legs began to disappear. Orochi straightened and pointed his sword at Red Dragon who was gripping his bleeding shoulder. “Prepare yourself for retribution, samurai.”

  Inner Jake: Don’t kill him! Jake reminded the ancient samurai. He may be a bastard…but just don’t.

  Orochi ran forward using incredible speed and knocked Red Dragon out with a quick blow to the back of his head. Orochi looked at Black Fox, Bulldozer, Dr. Valery and Ultraviolet next. “Are any of you humans foolish enough to stand in my way?”

  Black Fox put her hands out in a helpless gesture and shook her head. “I know when I’m outmatched.”

  “Is it really necessa
ry to stop him?” Bulldozer asked while scratching the back of his head.

  Dr. Valery chewed on her thumbnail. “Tsk. Ultraviolet! Stop him! That’s an order!”

  Ultraviolet took a drag on her cigarette before blowing the cloud of smoke right in Dr. Valery’s face. “You ordering me around, old hag? But as Jake’s bodyguard I guess I need to get him un-possessed by that damned living-metal sword. Shit.” Ultraviolet took out her twin metal tonfa and attacked Orochi. “HAH!”

  Orochi raised an eyebrow at the Battle Droid as she attacked him. “You’re a Battle Droid? Whose orders do you follow? Dr. Valery’s or Jake Lonestar’s?”

  “Keh, I don’t follow anyone’s orders but my own, shitty sword. Now - release Jake Lonestar!” Ultraviolet demanded.

  Orochi’s eyes widened at Ultraviolet’s bold declaration. “An android with free will? You’re like me…Ultraviolet. We’re special.”

  “I’ll show you special - HAH!” Ultraviolet attacked Orochi with the tonfa and Orochi was hard pressed to block the swift attacks with his sword. “I’ve already read your profile that was on file. I already know your number one weakness.” An evil smirk formed on Ultraviolet’s lips.

  Orochi raised an eyebrow at the feisty android. “Oh? Is that so, woman?”

  Ultraviolet dropped both of her weapons before grabbing the front of her shirt and ripping it open, buttons flying through the air, to reveal the lacy purple bra that she was wearing underneath her maid outfit.

  Orochi’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of Ultraviolet’s petite breasts and her lacy purple bra. “So shameless…what is wrong with this era’s women…?”

  You haven’t even gotten to see Girls Gone Wild yet, dude! Jake said enthusiastically in his mind.

  Orochi abruptly passed out and fell flat on his face in a dead faint. “Ugh…” Jake groaned as he stirred, beginning to regain consciousness. Jake then sat up and blinked around owlishly at the others. “What happened? I feel like I just got hit by a truck.”

  “You were possessed by the legendary living-metal sword Orochi, idiot.” Ultraviolet (kindly?) informed him.

  “Oh yea! Ah~ why did you scare him off, Ultraviolet?! Orochi and I have a deal!” Jake began to explain to the pissed off looking android.

  “A deal?” Dr. Valery questioned as she approached Jake, her heels click-clacking on the floor. “What kind of a deal could a human possibly make with an artificial intelligence weapon?” Dr. Valery pushed her glasses up her nose and stared at Jake keenly.

  Jake gulped as Dr. Valery’s glasses seemed to shine with an eerie light. He could tell that his aunt was pissed. “Er, that I’ll let him use my body so that he can defeat Nova Inara and in return he’ll give me the strength to protect my friends. So you see - it’s a win win situation.” Jake grinned goofily at his aunt with his fingers crossed behind his back.

  “Wait a minute.” Dr. Valery stared at Jake in disbelief. “You mean to say that you actually willingly let Orochi possess your body?” Dr. Valery began to rub her temples. “I need a drink. A nice glass of red wine.”

  “Here you go, Dr. Valery.” Zee had suddenly appeared at Dr. Valery’s side and was pouring her a glass of red wine, which he swiftly handed to her.

  “Ah, thank you, Zee.” Dr. Valery thanked the android butler absentmindedly as she took a sip of the wine.

  “That was AWESOME!” Bulldozer made his way towards Jake and suddenly flung his arm around Jake’s shoulder. “That deserves a drink! Here, have a beer, buddy!” Bulldozer handed Jake a can of beer.

  Jake looked back at the cyborg with wide eyes before hesitantly accepting the beer. “Er, thanks?” Jake took a sip of the beer and smiled. He liked beer but his parents had never let him drink. “That’s good. Thanks dude.” Bulldozer is being…friendly. Is this what it’s like to have a friend? It’d be nice to have a friend.

  “No prob, bro.” Bulldozer said as he ruffled Jake’s head affectionately in a big brother manner.

  Apparently, Bulldozer had an unlimited supply of cold beers on hand. “To think he altered his body to contain a mini fridge.” Galaxy Girl put out her hands and shook her head. “I’ll never understand how boys think.”

  “Yes, who would do such a ridiculous thing?” Black Fox agreed but was giving Bulldozer an envious look.

  Jake looked at the fallen form of Mr. Suit, lying in a pool of his own blood and his expression became aghast. “AH! Mr. Suit! Isn’t anyone going to help him?! Someone call an ambulance!” Jake immediately began to panic. Why isn’t anyone panicking?! Good thing I’m here for this.

  “Oh, that’s right…” Dr. Valery began casually as she looked down at Mr. Suit. “He gets himself injured all the time it’s become almost normal.” Dr. Valery clapped her hands loudly. “Computer! Send the Nurse Droids here immediately. They have a patient.”

  “Roger that.” Came the synthesized voice of the super computer that was linked to the entire mansion. Hidden doors immediately began to appear in the hallway and from them several Nurse Droids and fembots emerged dressed in cute, custom-made, nurse outfits complete with white caps on their heads with red crosses on them, and sexy, red high-heeled shoes.

  “Whoo~” Jake wolf whistled and howled as soon as he caught sight of the smokin’ nurses, but then Jake noticed their blank expressions and stiff movements…androids. He pouted. “Aw man, and here I thought some real hot babes had shown up for a second there…” He frowned.

  BONK. Ultraviolet whacked Jake over the back of his head for his callous comment.

  Jake gave her a scandalized look, “Oi! What the hell was that for, V!?”

  “Clueless idiot.” Ultraviolet sneered.

  The cute nurses quickly began to take care of the wounded Mr. Suit and Red Dragon.

  Jake looked at all that blood on the floor and swayed on his feet. “Did I mention that I’m bad with the sight of blood?” He declared before passing out in a dead faint.

  Dr. Valery shook her head at her Samurai Superheroes’ antics. “Ultraviolet, take Jake to his room for now. He deserves a good night’s rest. Tomorrow, we’ll decide what we’ll do about Orochi and whether or not we’ll allow the sword to stay in Jake’s possession or not…”

  Mr. Suit sneered down at Jake’s fallen form. “Pansy-ass…I can’t believe he actually fainted at the sight of a little blood…”

  Black Fox looked at the large puddle on the floor. “You think this is a little blood? Nurse Droids you should examine Mr. Suit’s head while you’re at it.” She suggested in a serious no-nonsense tone.

  “Hey!” Mr. Suit objected.

  Ultraviolet picked Jake up as though he weighed nothing and slung him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She then stalked her way towards his room.

  Japanese Word Key:

  Nani: What?

  Shounen: Boy

  Bakayaro: Idiot